The only way we can live a restful, dependent life as Christ did is to do what the writer to the Hebrews referred to as resting from our own works. "Anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work" (Hebrews 4:10).
To rest from our own works is to refrain from doing our own thing. Our own works are those things we do which are out of step with the Spirit. They are our works-not the will of God.
If we're self-driven, try ventures, say words, or manipulate situations without the knowledge that we're in step with the Spirit, nothing eternal is accomplished. John 6:63 says "The flesh counts for nothing."
When we speak to others out of frustration instead of out of love, when we nag and prod and push to have our way, when we try to manipulate situations to accomplish God's will-in short, when we are acting on our own-we need an alarm in our minds saying: "The flesh counts for nothing. The flesh counts for nothing."
Usually our frustrated attitude says, "I'm going to change you through force rather than faith." I have a little rhyme I say to myself when tempted to speak out of irritation rather than wait on the Lord: "My words are the like the sticks of John 15:6." This verse speaks of the worthlessness of deeds done when we're not abiding in Christ. Such deeds are like branches cast into the fire and burned. They accomplish nothing beneficial.
If our confidence is in God, however, our attitude might be, "I know God will help you," or "I'm listening to you." Then we can take in the words of others, all the while listening to God for His instruction.
Dear Lord, help me to recognize when I'm not dependent upon You.
Jesus said, "By myself I can do nothing" (John 5:30).