How She Got Rid of Self-Pity
Becky's heart was crushed as she hung up the phone. Her younger sister had called to announce she was expecting her first child. "Why not me, Lord?" Becky cried in anguish. "After all, I've been trying for a baby for years and she for only a few months."
She spent that evening and many evenings in the years that followed asking God a thousand "whys." Coming to terms with infertility was not easy for her. Yet she knew her self-pity was not pleasing to the Lord, and the realization came that the Lord wanted to do a work in her.
After reading in Proverbs 30 God's words that the barren womb is never satisfied, Becky realized God does know how the barren feel. She then found she could commune with Him more easily since she knew He understood the lossshe felt.
One day Psalm 37:4-5 spoke to her: "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him" She knew that to commit her way meant to roll her burdens on to Him. So Becky completely handed over her desire for a child to God.
Becky said, "What a relief it was just to lay it in His hands, surrender the 'whys' and just permit Him to take control. Oh, the peace that came with surrender! The resentment began to melt. I realized that God didn't need my assistance in the matter."
Since the night of her sister's phone call, the Lord has taught her to wait on Him. She praises Him for the lessons learned. She has even begun to thank God for this privilege of infertility.
We praise You, God, for Your infinite wisdom and perfect plans.
"For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities" (Hebrews 4:15 KJV).