Betty Malz shared a life-changing experience in which God revealed her true nature. She was very ill, unable to speak, but at times very aware of God's presence. One night various scenes of her past came to her, and in each one she saw not her excuses for reacting as she did but what God knew were her real reasons for her actions.
As each scene flashed before her, she was gently made aware of a truth about herself. Her determination to protect her hairdo when traveling with her brothers on a hot summer day, for example, caused her to angrily demand that her sweltering family shut the car windows. This she saw to be not only self-centeredness but also the beginning of a pattern of wanting to get her own way.
Her husband had wanted to invite a couple known for their marital infidelities to dinner and then to church. She had replied that the neighbors might think it strange if they identify with people of low reputation and that it would be best for them to meet at church.
"I fought off a desire to turn away from these painful revelations about myself," she wrote, "but there was no condemnation in the Presence. Only loving concern."
"Seeing my self-righteousness and pride made me want to hide my head under the pillow in shame." Tears flowed down her cheeks as she prayed for cleansing.
"The Presence did not have to say a word, nor did He try to soften the impact. I felt awed by the exposure of my selfish, arrogant nature. When the tears of repentance came, there were comfort and reassurance in His manner."
After the Presence left, "Everything was unchanged outside of myself. Inside I was different."
Malachi promises that there is a Purifier of all our selfish motives. "He shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness. Then shall the offering...be pleasant unto the Lord" (Mal. 3:3,4).
"I'll come and purify you of all your selfish motives," God promises through these words. "I'll give you the ability to offer yourself and pray prayers that are one hundred percent pleasing to Me."
"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me" (Ps. 139:23).
Thank You, God, that You don't show us our wrong motives without having the ability and desire to cleanse us.
Told in A Glimpse of Eternity by Betty Malz.